Finding Your Own Truth About Birth

Why your beliefs about birth didn’t start with you—and how to gently choose what really matters.

Have you ever stopped to wonder why you believe what you do about birth?

Maybe you imagine a hospital room with bright lights and beeping monitors. Or perhaps it’s the smell of lavender, soft music, and the quiet breath of your partner nearby. However your inner picture of birth looks, one thing is certain: it didn’t come from nowhere.

Our assumptions about birth are passed down—through family stories, movies, health systems, and cultural norms. They can be empowering, but they can also make us feel disconnected from our own instincts.

For many of us, this journey into parenthood is also a journey into unlearning.

Culture shapes the way we birth

In many Western countries, birth is framed as something to manage or control. It’s common to hear phrases like “get through it” or “trust the professionals.” While medical care has its place, it’s worth asking: where is your voice in this story?

In contrast, many Indigenous and traditional cultures see birth as a spiritual initiation—a rite of passage that belongs to the birthing person and their family. In Māori tradition, for example, the placenta (whenua) is often buried in the earth, returning the child to the land they come from. This connection isn’t just poetic—it’s profoundly grounding.

So how do we begin to reconnect with our own inner wisdom?

Start by getting curious

Here are some gentle questions you might explore:

• What are the birth stories I’ve inherited?

• Who taught me what birth “should” be like?

• What feels true in my body when I think about giving birth?

These are not just intellectual questions—they are invitations to reclaim your truth.

You get to choose

There is no one right way to give birth. What matters is that you are supported, respected, and seen.

When we work with couples, this is where we begin—not with a checklist, but with your story. What are your dreams for this experience? What are your fears? What helps you feel safe, connected, and strong?

Whether you are preparing for your first birth or your fourth, I invite you to slow down, breathe into your heart, and know this: you don’t have to do it the way “they” say you should. You get to write your own story.

Ready to go deeper?

If this article resonates with you, maybe it’s time to go beyond books and classes—and create a space where you and your partner can truly tune in to yourselves, your baby, and your vision for this birth.

Click here to book a free 30-minute discovery call.

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